Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I Know That You Love Me

As a Christian, from time to time, I would have doubts like these about myself - Am I a God pleasing person? Am I qualified to preach His word? Am I worthy to receive all His blessings? Would I disappoint Him for being so unlike Christ?

These doubts could really wear me out. They made me feel that even though I have tried so hard to be a loving, caring, righteous person, my growth seems to be slow, and parts of me are hard to change. I'm just never good enough! Sometimes I have the fear of presenting my prayers to God, I fear that my needs and feelings are just not as important as His "world saving business."

But this is what God once said to me in my prayer, "I know that you love me." Instead of saying “I love you” to me, He gave me the affirmation He knew that I needed. This reminds me of the three times Jesus asked Peter, after Peter had denied Jesus three times in weakness, "Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?" Three times Peter answered, "I love you, I love you, and you know that I love you." And three times Jesus commanded Peter, "Feed my lambs, tend my sheep, and feed my sheep." (John 21:15-19)

It's as if Jesus was telling Peter, "I understand why you denied me, and I know how it must make you feel about yourself. You must be doubting your own worthiness of being my apostle, my friend and my brother. My poor child, I know that you love me, I know that you love me more than a friend, and I know that you love me more than your life. I know that you are not perfect, but I trust you to take care of my flock." And this is indeed the affirmation Peter needed, and it was proven that Peter had loved Jesus more than his own life.

In this walk of the sanctification process, I know that I'll never achieve perfection in this life. But I trust, not only that God's grace is enough for me, but that He knows my love for Him. If He would go so far as to affirm the love of an inadequate person that I am, I know that His love would never run out on me, and that He'll never see me as trivial or irrelevant. All I can and have to do is to open my arms to accept God's blessings, and to press on toward where He wanted me to go. And I know this is not only true to me, but to all who has the genuine love for God.

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