Friday, February 24, 2012

My Golden Calf

In Exodus, the Israelites made themselves a golden calf to worship while Moses was on the mountain talking to God. I was so mad at the Israelites, and I couldn’t understand why they would rather worship something they themselves made than have faith in the God who APPARENTLY brought them out of Egypt, and Whom they themselves experienced. Geez, “stiff-necked” is not enough to describe them!

However, recently I have been through a temptation myself. When it comes to the one thing that mattered to me the most, I found it hard to trust in God and to be still. Even though I knew it was taking my eyes off God, I let the selfish desire ran around in my head days and nights; even though God had told me to stay put, I convinced myself to proceed to it. It didn’t take long for me to lose the sense of God’s togetherness, and it was a horrible feeling. It was this horrible feeling that woke me.

If we look closely, when we put an image of whether a person, a thing, a goal or a desire before God, it is idolatry; and when we are enslaved by our temptations, and to work toward that desire of our own, it is adultery. In another word, by letting the selfish desire running around in my head, I actually committed idolatry; when I proceeding to the desire regardless of God’s command, I actually committed adultery! No wonder I couldn’t feel God’s togetherness, because my heart was fattened!

But see to it that desire by its very nature is not a bad thing, and no one can live without desire – even the need of a cup of water when you are thirst, a bowl of rice when you are hungry is a desire. Desire is bad only when it contradicts God’s desire and purpose for us. Our desire should be prioritized for God.

Lucky me that God is merciful, He can always make use of the evil, and turn it around into good cause. Through this temptation, I learned about my weaknesses, I realized God’s worth; and through this temptation, God taught me to be humble. I still can’t believe that I risked God’s calling for this selfish desire, and that I didn’t spend more time on praying for my ministries. What a fool was I!

Now, would I do better than the Israelites if I was in their time? I’m not so sure anymore. But I’m sure of one thing - I have Jesus with me, who is at work in my heart. I’m not perfect, but He made me perfect. Thus I know that for Him and through Him, I could do better the next time.

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